Writing to Write

It all started in the fourth grade.

I don't remember what it was or what it was for, but I remember turning in some sort of "paper" on some flimsy workbook with chicken scratches penciled into the pre-made handwriting lines, and my teacher pulling me aside and saying, "you know Amanda, you are a really good writer." And for whatever reason that has stuck in my head as a sliver of confidence every time I've written anything. (Aside from 20-page papers in college about western civilization...I never really felt good about those.)

My point is that I love to write. I've always loved to write. Whether or not I think my work is good or whether or not others think it's good, I've always enjoyed storytelling.

So here I am preaching about how I love to write, yet I'm struggling to post any of my work.

I'm not sure if that sliver of confidence is subsiding, or if I simply care too much about what other people think about my work. Or both. But either way, I haven't been publishing posts nearly as much as I've wanted to.

Which is why this post is me writing to write.

And it's not to say that I don't have stories to tell. Everyone has a story, and everyone has something to say at the end of every day related to whatever it is they're going through. I happen to think I have a lot of things to tell, especially related to post-grad life, yet I keep finding excuses to not write about them and furthermore, to not publish them.

One of the biggest pieces of inspiration comes from other people's writing. I stumble on so many random acquaintances' blogs, and I think wow. They are posting some personal stuff on there, but I can't even muster up the courage to just write whatever is on my mind and share it?

So call this an exercise I guess. A journal entry if you will, for me to just stop overthinking and start writing.

Because I am a firsthand witness in knowing that even the most random person on your newsfeed, that you literally never talk to who happens to post on their blog, happens to be the one person who's story you connect with or are inspired by.

So even if my words are a complete rant of nothing, and even if it doesn't garner a compliment from a teacher, who cares, at least I'm doing what I enjoy, which is writing.

And what's the fun in enjoying something if you can't share it with others?


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