The more I sign in here to write, the more I realize how many saved drafts I have in comparison to actual published posts.
So here's my stab at hitting publish on something that should've gone up about 10 months ago...
---
Reassurance. Pat on the back. Green light. Thumb's up. Double tap.
Whatever it is, it's something we rely on. And when I say we, I really mean me, but I'm willing to bet I'm not the only one out there in this boat.
I had my yearly review this week (which is still crazy to me to think how fast the last year has gone) but in my review this word came up a few times during the 10 minutes of the review that was allocated to "areas of improvement."
"Amanda has great instincts, but often needs her peers' reassurance to pull the trigger," was just one of the examples of use.
And it got me thinking, how this is a common thread within my life even outside of work. A common thread that if I'm not mistaken, is a common theme in a lot of people in this generation.
The need for reassurance. The desire to know that other people support you and are backing whatever it is you're doing or thinking.
First and foremost, with work I agree. I am someone who is not only afraid to mess up, (and have always been) but I'm someone that relies on someone else giving me a thumbs up before I can commit to a solution 9 times out of 10.
But I'm not here to talk about how I would answer a future interview question of "what's your weakness." I'm more so observing how much reassurance we as a society, as a generation, or whatever, have become dependent on.
I mean think about it. Think about the last photo you uploaded to Instagram and how many times you checked to see how many likes you got. Think about how you purposely staged a picture to post on Facebook because you knew people would react positively to it. Think about the last time you texted your friends in a group chat to get a certain reaction out of them, only to find that nobody responds.
Even when I'm writing my blog as I'm doing right now, I often think about whether or not people will react to it or even read it; whether or not I will get the reassurance that I need in order to keep publishing.
I'd be ignorant if I sat here and blamed social media; if I truly believed that a means of communication on the internet was the sole reason we as a civilization rely so heavily on the reassurance of others. But then I think about it, and I wonder why I feel the way I feel when I check my instagram 50 times to see how many likes I got.
I wonder why I rewrite the same sentence 15 times before I finally move on. I wonder why I can't pull the trigger on something or why I can't be enough reassurance for myself instead of relying on others, and I ultimately draw a blank.
What is it about needing this reassurance? Is it insecurities, or the constant desire for attention in this chaotic and saturated world of social media and noise? Or is it because we as a generation have become so obsessed with ourselves with our 'selfies' and our public-pats-on-the-back that we need this reassurance to know that we're not totally crazy and egotistical? And don't get me wrong, I've posted a fair amount of selfies, so no judgement here.
Wherever it stems from and whatever generational excuse we can blame it on, it's still present. The want and need for someone to sign off on it in whatever arbitrary way shape or form that entails. Why does 75 likes on an Instagram photo make you feel better about yourself than 2?
Or better yet, what does it mean if your two very best friends in the world like your photo, but only those two, and the next photo 100 acquaintances like it, but not your two best friends, then what does that do for reassurance?
Food for thought.
Tuesday, April 14, 2015
Monday, January 5, 2015
D R A F T
Write. Save. View Preview. Edit. Edit some more. Get frustrated. Pause. Write a little more. Re-Read. Save Draft. Walk away.
That is a pretty accurate sequence of events that happens each time I sit down to write. More times than not, I realize that I forget altogether that I even had drafts saved. Like now for example, I logged on to write a fresh post, and realized I had 7 drafts saved, unpublished. This one seemed fitting to post at the beginning of a new year, or maybe it was just the most "polished" draft I had written.
Either way, time to finally hit "Publish" on one of these.
---
10/8/14
Figured I'd start this list now, considering I'm hours away from turning 24, which arguably is considered halfway into your twenties.
I read a list on 'things someone learned in their twenties' on Pinterest once, and it got me thinking I should start one. To be able to put into words all the things I've learned in the past three years (or even past three months) seems almost impossible. But I'm giving it a shot in hopes that 10 years from now they'll still ring true, and then some.
1. You don't owe anybody anything, except yourself.
It is not your duty to justify your decisions to others, to explain things to others, to please others or to be everything to others. You are your priority.
2. Have faith. Always.
Even when the world feels like it's ending and when you are literally about to give up, it is exactly when the power of faith steps in. Faith and patience go hand in hand. Figure out what style of faith helps you learn patience, and all will be right in your world.
3. Adult friendships are hard work.
But if you nurture and take care of them, they can also be the most rewarding. Communication is key.
4. Keep people in your life that you can call your family. And who would treat you as such.
Because nothing feels better than being able to call your friends your family, and mean it.
5. Spend time with yourself. And more importantly, cherish yourself.
It's okay to go to the movies alone or even to a bar alone once in awhile. When you can laugh at yourself and the things you can do on your own, you will be a better person around others, and others will be drawn to your confidence.
6. Speak up.
Probably one of the most important things I've learned, and one of the hardest things to do. When something isn't right, or you believe something should be done, voice it.
7. Cherish your parents.
The sooner you develop a meaningful relationship with them other then depending on them to help you, the happier everyone will be. Small gestures also go a long way.
8. Do what makes you happy and forget about what everyone else thinks.
I can't stress this enough. Whether you date a Spanish guy who lives across the world even though it'll realistically never work out, or you choose to spend all of your money on an overpriced purse, the decision is yours. This is your time to figure out what exactly that thing is that makes you happy, and you don't need to answer to anybody in the process of determining that happiness.
9. Take care of yourself.
Physically, emotionally, and mentally. I once had someone tell me straight to my face, "You have no friends, nobody likes you. If you die tomorrow, nobody will come to your funeral. You are alone in this world and nobody else has your back." It was quite possibly the most horrifying yet humbling thing I've ever heard. If you can't take care of yourself, then who will?
10. Listen to your gut.
Just because someone has more authority, doesn't mean they're always right. You have to listen to your instincts to really know what to believe and who to trust. Not everyone older or above you always has your best interest.
11. Listen to your own advice.
If you're giving someone else advice, you should be able to spin it around and swallow your own words. You'll probably realize that what you would tell someone else is exactly what you need to hear.
12. Don't settle.
Even if you have to kiss a hundred frogs to find your prince, you will still have found your prince. It's important to have standards. And it's important to adhere to them.
I enjoy making lists of things that I've learned and being able to look back at them down the road. It's a nice reminder that at one point I really was absorbing the world around me instead of cruising on autopilot through the hustle bustle of everyday life.
And obviously this is a work-in-progress list. I'm sure many things will be added, and other things possibly tweaked, but it's a start either way. And to be honest, I should have a lot left to add, I'm only 24.
xoxo
That is a pretty accurate sequence of events that happens each time I sit down to write. More times than not, I realize that I forget altogether that I even had drafts saved. Like now for example, I logged on to write a fresh post, and realized I had 7 drafts saved, unpublished. This one seemed fitting to post at the beginning of a new year, or maybe it was just the most "polished" draft I had written.
Either way, time to finally hit "Publish" on one of these.
---
10/8/14
Figured I'd start this list now, considering I'm hours away from turning 24, which arguably is considered halfway into your twenties.
I read a list on 'things someone learned in their twenties' on Pinterest once, and it got me thinking I should start one. To be able to put into words all the things I've learned in the past three years (or even past three months) seems almost impossible. But I'm giving it a shot in hopes that 10 years from now they'll still ring true, and then some.
1. You don't owe anybody anything, except yourself.
It is not your duty to justify your decisions to others, to explain things to others, to please others or to be everything to others. You are your priority.
2. Have faith. Always.
Even when the world feels like it's ending and when you are literally about to give up, it is exactly when the power of faith steps in. Faith and patience go hand in hand. Figure out what style of faith helps you learn patience, and all will be right in your world.
3. Adult friendships are hard work.
But if you nurture and take care of them, they can also be the most rewarding. Communication is key.
4. Keep people in your life that you can call your family. And who would treat you as such.
Because nothing feels better than being able to call your friends your family, and mean it.
5. Spend time with yourself. And more importantly, cherish yourself.
It's okay to go to the movies alone or even to a bar alone once in awhile. When you can laugh at yourself and the things you can do on your own, you will be a better person around others, and others will be drawn to your confidence.
6. Speak up.
Probably one of the most important things I've learned, and one of the hardest things to do. When something isn't right, or you believe something should be done, voice it.
7. Cherish your parents.
The sooner you develop a meaningful relationship with them other then depending on them to help you, the happier everyone will be. Small gestures also go a long way.
8. Do what makes you happy and forget about what everyone else thinks.
I can't stress this enough. Whether you date a Spanish guy who lives across the world even though it'll realistically never work out, or you choose to spend all of your money on an overpriced purse, the decision is yours. This is your time to figure out what exactly that thing is that makes you happy, and you don't need to answer to anybody in the process of determining that happiness.
9. Take care of yourself.
Physically, emotionally, and mentally. I once had someone tell me straight to my face, "You have no friends, nobody likes you. If you die tomorrow, nobody will come to your funeral. You are alone in this world and nobody else has your back." It was quite possibly the most horrifying yet humbling thing I've ever heard. If you can't take care of yourself, then who will?
10. Listen to your gut.
Just because someone has more authority, doesn't mean they're always right. You have to listen to your instincts to really know what to believe and who to trust. Not everyone older or above you always has your best interest.
11. Listen to your own advice.
If you're giving someone else advice, you should be able to spin it around and swallow your own words. You'll probably realize that what you would tell someone else is exactly what you need to hear.
12. Don't settle.
Even if you have to kiss a hundred frogs to find your prince, you will still have found your prince. It's important to have standards. And it's important to adhere to them.
I enjoy making lists of things that I've learned and being able to look back at them down the road. It's a nice reminder that at one point I really was absorbing the world around me instead of cruising on autopilot through the hustle bustle of everyday life.
And obviously this is a work-in-progress list. I'm sure many things will be added, and other things possibly tweaked, but it's a start either way. And to be honest, I should have a lot left to add, I'm only 24.
xoxo
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)